Sharing the Ham

GEORGE

As Senior Cat I have certain privileges in our house and one of them is being close to the action. In this case the sandwich-making action.

What are we having today, Dad?

Hmmm... I see you got some fresh ham at the deli. But don't you think I should check it out? You know....to be sure it's safe for you & Mom to eat!

(nomnomnomnom)

Excellent choice, Dad. But if you don't mind, I'll have a little on a plate.








Tipper, why are you by my plate?! I'm Senior Cat here, not you!

TIPPER

You don't own all the ham in this house!!

Dad said I could have some so you have to share with me.

Frozen Tundra

Rules for Shasta

GEORGE

Recently I told you our human sister's dog, Shasta, is going to be living here for a while. And I said I'd put together a list of rules I expect her to obey. I've given this a lot of thought and want to thank everycat for your great suggestions.

I'm ready to dictate my list, Mom. Mom...are you ready?

MOM

Yes Georgie, go ahead.

GEORGE

Good. This list will be similar to the one I made for our former Blurpy-now-Sticky Girl when she was born but more strict. I mean, we are dealing with a DAWG here, not a human!!

RULES FOR SHASTA

1. This is my house and I'm Senior Cat which means I am the boss here. I run a tight ship and don't put up with any nonsense. And remember, there are 3 other cats here who are also your bosses. Well, maybe not Misty 'cause she's younger than you.

2. Don't look at me, touch me or try to talk to me, and for heaven's sake, no barking when I'm napping. Please remember, I nap at least 18 hours a day.

3. No stealing our food. Mom will put our feeder up on the kitchen table so you can't get at it. This is a major inconvenience because now we have to jump up there to eat. Regarding the water bowl, don't leave any of your germs in it.

4. Mom bought you dog toys so don't bother our toys. You have (Mom, I'm sorry, but I need to say one of the bad words here) "dog breth" and we don't want your icky dog slobber on our toys, either.

5. Don't bother our litterboxes. Absolutely (ugh) NO EATING out of the boxes will be allowed. When you need to answer nature's call, don't do anything on our floor where we have to look at it, or smell it. Be civilized and take your business outside.

6. I usually nap on either Dad's lap or Mom's lap in the evening. If I want a lap and you're on it, you will vacate that lap immediately. Once I'm on the lap, don't even think about trying to lay anywhere near me.

7. No jumping on the big bed or any sofa or chair if I'm up there. The same goes for Max who can usually be found napping near me. If Misty or Tipper want to lay near you, please work that out with them directly.

8. No chasing us. We don't like it.

9. If we have to pass each other in the hall or kitchen, I will ignore you and you will yield the right of way to me.

10. There might be an occasion where I find it necessary to whap you if you intrude into my space. Please refer to Rule #1 and remember, I am Senior Cat here.



OK, I think that's about it, Mom. Please print several copies and put one in every room where Shasta will walk, preferably down at her eye level so she doesn't miss it!

2 for Mancat Monday

MAX

Mom!! Enough with the flashy box already. We're trying to get a nap here!

MOM

That's all you boys do is nap.










MAX

Wrong!!

That's so not tru...mmphh...not tr...not...mmm...zzzz...zzzzz.

Shasta is Coming

GEORGE

I don't know what to think about the news I heard today.

You all know I'm not a big fan of dogs. Nothing personal, all you dogs out there. It's just that I get very tense and I don't like all the barking, jumping and intrusion into my personal space. Maybe if I'd had a chance to grow up with a dog I'd feel differently about them. I don't know.

Anyway, today I heard that our human sister B's dog, Shasta, shown here, is coming to live with us for a while. Shasta is a 4 1/2 year old Bichon Frise. Her adopted dog sister Reyna, a 2 year old Labra-Doodle, has been trying to eat her and...

MOM

Not eat her, George. Reyna just wants to play and won't leave Shasta alone for a minute! She's young and big and her parents want to give Shasta a break for a while. She won't be here forever.

GEORGE

She'd better not be!!

All I know is, for some weird reason, Tipper and Misty like her and Misty will even share lap space with her. As for Max and me, we intend to ignore her.

And, while she's here, I expect her to follow my rules. I'll be putting together a list and will dictate it before she gets here!

A "clean" Explanation

MISTY

This is our bath tub. It's where humans stand under water to get dirts and smells off them. When they come out, they wipe themselves all over with a big towel and then they're clean. I've seen Mom do this many times.

Sometimes when Dad stands in here, he sings. Then Mom says "Don't quit your day job".

I don't know what that means 'cause when I take a bath I don't stand under water and I don't sing.

New Member

GEORGE

We have a new member at Coats of Many Colors. Members, won't you go over and welcome him! Even though he lives in Portugal, he speaks English too.

Anycat interested in joining our group, please let me know and you 'll get our official group membership badge to add to your sidebar. We're open to all cats, bi-, tri- and solid color.