A Superstar Interview

G PIE

We’re here today at the palatial summer home of that well-known former CWF champion and cat blogosphere contributor, Maxwell Smartkitty, who has graciously granted us an interview.

Hello Smartkitty, and thank you for inviting us into your home.

SMARTKITTY

No prob.

G PIE

Well Smartkitty, you're a self-described strong, silent type...a gentle giant, so to speak, and I know all your fans are anxious to hear about what you've been doing since your last championship match. Can you fill us in?

SMARTKITTY

I haven't been doing anything.

G PIE

What's that? (taps on earpiece) Did I hear that right? Did you say you haven't done anything?!

SMARTKITTY

Well, I mostly eat and nap. I watch birdies and play with my toys. Oh yeah, and I played with my track & ball recently.

G PIE

Um…(ahem)...well, do you have any plans for the rest of the summer? All your fans want to see another match. Will you be coming out of retirement any time soon?

SMARTKITTY

No and no.

G PIE

OK.

Um…I see your perch overlooks a nice deck and that you’re reclining on the top shelf of your penthouse. What can you tell us about that?

SMARTKITTY

I've owned it for several years.

G PIE

Right. (sigh) OK then. (mumbles to self) What idiot set up this interview anyway? Maybe I should just wrap this up now.

Oh, is that your lovely, young sister and former opponent I see there?

SMARTKITTY


Misty? Yeah, she’s always trying to steal my top shelf when I’m not using it and she's been doing that ever since she was a baby and she thinks I don’t know about that but I do ‘cause I saw her and you know G, I’m a big guy, but I’m not fat or anything, I just have big bones, you know, and I really need this entire shelf to spread out and get comfortable for my naps and birdie watching and such

G PIE

Uh…

SMARTKITTY

and Mom says we have to share ‘cause there's 4 shelves on this cat perch and that's enough for all of us and we don't need another one so she makes me share with Misty but, you know, I watch TV a lot and I saw on Entertainment Tonight that all superstars like me have penthouses and I bet their mothers don’t make them share either and

G PIE

Um...maybe we should do this interview another time?

SMARTKITTY

now Misty thinks she can horn in whenever she wants to and Mom won’t let me kick her off so I have to let her have some space that I really need for myself and I think everybody would agree that since I’m 2 years older and twice her size, and a superstar too,

G PIE

Yes...well thank you for your time. Don't bother to get up, I'll just show myself out.

SMARTKITTY

that I really should have my OWN shelf and I shouldn't have to be embarassed about hang over 'cause Misty is here and I can't get my whole self on the shelf as you can see,

G PIE

Note to self: Don't ever ask about his shelf!