Monday, June 27, 2011

Balding with Dandruff


Yesterday I followed Mom down the hallway towards the human litterbox room like I've done many times before. I should have been suspicious when she used that syrupy sweetie-pie voice and called to me, "Come on, Max...come on in", then casually closed the door. But instead of doing her business, she reached into a drawer and brought out that buzzy thing. The minute I saw it I shuddered 'cause it brought back terrible memories!

Do you remember when Tipper almost got shaved? Well friends, that's exactly what Mom did to me!! OK, I'll admit I had a few small mats here and there but I was planning to take care of them in due time.


Due time! Your entire back was covered and they were so thick I couldn't even cut through them.


(sighs and rolls eyes) Whatever.

Anyway, after Mom tricked me, she trapped me and before I knew what was happening she pinned me down and started in. I tried to turn my head to see what was happening. I meowed for her to stop. I bit at the buzzy thing. I bit at her hand, but then licked it, 'cause, you know, I really do love Mom. I tried to run, but she cornered me. I tell you, it was sheer torture and it went on for hours. I was a bloody mess when it was over!!


Oh for heaven's sake, you didn't have a scratch on you and it was less than 10 minutes.


Friends, I was very, very brave and finally my ordeal was over. Just look at the giant pile of mats she got off me! I'm a little embarrassed 'cause my mat pile has dandruff but I think it's kind of artistic, actually. My back, now that's a different matter.

Just look at me! I'm almost BALD!!

This is terrible!! How can I be at my handsomest for the ladies when my backside is all patchy and bald? And, if that isn't bad enough, I have DANDRUFF!!


At June 27, 2011 5:26 PM, Blogger Simba said...

That is rather severe looking, Max. Best ot to let those mats develop at all. But your furs will grow back quickly. I bet you feel better not to have the matted fur any more.

At June 28, 2011 10:46 AM, Blogger Athena said...

Poor Max! But, it is better than haffing mats.

Pee Ess -- I don't mind bald patches! i haf a bald patch from where my furs didn't grow back after my ladygardenectomy, and Kit has a HUGE bald patch where he got shaved for his ultrasound.

At June 28, 2011 1:41 PM, Blogger Pandafur said...

you iz moving to Arizona too? That iz xciting nooz. We'll praktikly be nayburz.

At June 28, 2011 5:43 PM, Blogger CCL Wendy said...

Nice to meet you Max -- even under these circumstances! My Dante gets mats, too, but I've never tried a shaver. Now you've given me an idea, but Dante's not going to thank you for it.

I'm sure your beautiful furs will grow back in no time.

At June 28, 2011 7:12 PM, Blogger MoMo said...

Oh, yikes!!! Don't you just hate it when the mom shaves your precious fur (mat)! I'd scream and mieow at the top of my voice whenever that happens.

At June 28, 2011 7:57 PM, Blogger Derby, Ducky said...

Max, face the camera and don't show your backside for a while.

At June 29, 2011 9:21 AM, Blogger Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Oh dear Cod! I have never heard of anyfing so outrageous!

Sure, they *were* mats, and sure, it must be nice to be rid of them, and yes, your furz will grow back even more beautiful than before. But....still.

At June 29, 2011 9:48 AM, Blogger Photo Cache said...

oh you'll grow it back soon.

Emma and Buster

At June 29, 2011 11:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my! That is quite the haircut! :) Tobi has never gotten his hair matted yet - does that happen only when cats go outside?

At June 29, 2011 1:54 PM, Blogger The Island Cats said...

Oh no, Max! We hope your furs grow back fast...and without that dandruff!!

::whispering:: Ernie has dandruff too...


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