GEORGE
My friends, the following which was sent to Mom by one of her friends,
illustrates what we cats have known forever. We felines are clearly the
superior species.
DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt
for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going
is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again
vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the
other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...
Views on life and the adventures of 4 cats - George, Tipper, Max & Misty, collectively known as "The Crew"
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Too funny! I laughed out loud... and it's true!!!
ReplyDeleteI do not think dogs are very smart. Except Titus. And Dobby. And Poppy. They are my friends.
ReplyDeleteHey, some of those things are My favorite things. That is a very favorable schedule.
ReplyDeleteSo Super-Dooper True! We of the meow and purrs are without question Suuuuuuuuuuperior!
ReplyDeleteThis was so funny and so true! My Mum is having a hard time typing this for me as she is laughing so hard. "Get it together Mum, you have a job to do"
ReplyDeleteHe he he!!! That was clever!
ReplyDeleteYou know... I could have written this thing. However, first a nap.
ReplyDeleteheadbutts, Caesar
I've seen that.. wait maybe I wrote that?
ReplyDeleteWell crew- what can you ex-pect of dawgz? Dey are not very Zen at all. But becauze of my orner-rary doctorate, I tink we will let dem be smarter than dey behave.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm a cat!
ReplyDeleteHugs...G
Are we sure Yao-Lin didn't write the cat diary entry?
ReplyDeleteOh yes, yes yes. You are so right -- but you already know that. Those dogs are D-U-M-B
ReplyDeleteWhy do you think our dogs say:
ReplyDelete"In my next life, I want to be a cat!"
Have a wonderful weekend and greetz from Holland :)
That's very funny (and true about the tripping on the stairs thing).
ReplyDeleteOf course, we are the supewior species aren't we?
ReplyDeleteOh this is too funny! hehehe... sending some happy purrs to you all! Have a great week ahead! And watch out for those D O G S....
ReplyDeleteHAHAHA, this is grate...and supur accurate. Thanks fur summing up how we feel evaryday! HAHAHA
ReplyDeleteI saw this before and laughed in my usual forthright meow manner.
ReplyDeleteYour question on wheatbags:For the crew and any others who don't know this information: a wheatbag is a small bag of fabric with wheat inside that you put in the microwave for a few minutes to heat up. It smells nice, like wheat. You can put it next to you to warm any parts you want to warm up. Lynettea often puts it on her shoulders for a while and then gives it to me when it isn't so hot. I don't like it too hot.
Diamond