For Guys Only

GEORGE

Already famous for the word squillions, everyone’s favorite tiny boy, William of Mass Destruction, has invented a fantastic new word – hoo-ha-ectomy.

As one of the elders in our cat blogging community, and for the benefit of you younger guys, I felt I must take this opportunity to have a discussion of just what this new word means. Since this is a “G” rated blog I will be discreet, but in order not to offend any young ladies out there, you girls might want to stop reading here and go take a short nap or watch some birdies.

OK guys, the main reason this is done is so that we can’t make kittens and you don’t need to be afraid to have it done. You might hear it referred to as

Being fixed or neutered
Getting clipped
Having your bits removed (Charlie of Brit Cats has talked about this)

and most of us have experienced our hoo-ha-ectomy early in our lives. Max and I had ours as very young kittens since the shelters we were adopted from wouldn’t let us go home without going to the V.E.T. first. The actual procedure is not as bad as being put in the carrier and going in the car, which most of us don’t like. Once you get to the V.E.T. you take a short nap and when you wake up, your hoo-has are gone! You might be a little sensitive in that area for a day or two, but in most cases, there are no problems after that.

There are many benefits to us guys in having this done, and I will talk briefly about each of them

Population control – We all know there are too many unwanted kittens that get sent to The Bridge without ever finding forever homes. This is a very sad situation. Instead of acting like.... dare I say it....(whispers) sex crazed maniacs roaming or “tomcatting” around looking for females, guys without hoo-has can appreciate the ladies for an elegantly curved whisker, a soft meow and a beautiful coat while maintaining a strictly platonic relationship. Plus you have the assurance of not having to pay kitten support or having false paternity claims made against you.

Aggression control - Hoo-ha removal helps you stay calm and relaxed and not go around picking fights with other cats. We are all incredibly handsome guys and want to stay that way, so it’s best to avoid fighting.

Weight – Some think that guys without hoo-has will gain weight. Speaking from personal experience, Max and I have not had a problem with this. We maintain our manly physiques at 12 – 14 lb. By controlling your diet and getting enough exercise, you should have no problems either.

Spraying – Also called territorial marking, this is done by guys who still have hoo-has. No gentlemen cat would ever spray and Max and I always use our litter box. Your housemates will appreciate your good manners.

Disease – You can’t get cancer of the hoo-has if you don’t have them

Safety – You will be happy living indoors or going out only with supervision. It will keep you safe from harm.

Well, I think that pretty much covers the main points so (calls out) all you ladies can come back in the room now.

Aha, I knew it! You were there the whole time. Heh, heh, heh.