Wednesday, May 31, 2006

You've Got Mail


I hardly ever get mail, so when Mom told me I had mail, I was very excited. I immediately came over to see what it was, thinking surely it was an important letter telling me I was now a squillionaire 'cause I had won the lottery.

Instead I found a notice from my V.E.T. telling me I need a checkup! What a let down. Here I was thinking I could take an early retirement to Florida, take care of Mom & Dad and spend my days laying on the beach. Now I find out I have to get poked and prodded at the V.E.T.

So, alright....let's just see what it says.

FVRCP shot: What's that? Oh, distemper and stuff. I'm OK with that. I don't want to get sick with distemper

Stool sample to be checked for worms: After I exit the litterbox, I don't care what Mom does with what I leave in there. If the V.E.T. wants to look at a piece or two, that's fine.

Blood sample: Well, I don't like the idea, but if they only take a small amount, I'll allow it.

Urine sample: Now this, I have a problem with. A guy needs a certain amount of privacy to attend to personal matters, don't you agree? I don't want anyone shoving a little bowl underneath me to collect anything. So, it's NO to this, Mom.

Glaucoma test: They want to puff air into my eye!!! I don't think so. I'll just squeeze my eyes shut tightly. Another big NO, Mom.

Well, 3 out of 5 isn't bad. Mom, you can make my appointment in a few weeks.

What? TODAY!!!! No wait, I'm not ready....I need some time to prepare myself. OH NO....there's the carrier. Max....Tipper.....someone help me!


At May 31, 2006 8:55 AM, Blogger Gemini said...

Momma said I have to go tomorrow. I don't think they'll be taking a urine sample though or doing a glaucoma test or even blood. Momma says I'm too young to have to worry about that.

At May 31, 2006 11:30 AM, Blogger Zeus said...

Man, George, I really feel for you. I hate going to the V-E-T, and I completely agree with you about the urine sample. Do we really need to be subjected to more humiliation when we don't even have the hoo-ha to begin with? Isn't that enough?

At May 31, 2006 4:25 PM, Blogger Derby said...

Collect a urine sample??? What does your mum have to do, follow you around with a cup all day? I only get shots, maybe because you are older you get special treatment.

At May 31, 2006 7:24 PM, Blogger Dianne said...

Hey, is your VET thorough or what? Urine, glaucoma-geez. My mom has never even seen my 'downstairs' yet alone try to catch some piddle. Good luck guy!

At May 31, 2006 11:38 PM, Blogger KXBC said...

You have to show them who is boss. You can copy what I did to the VET appointment card when I saw it. See here.

I tell you. The VET will never dare to send you another card again next year after you show them what you did to their card. If you can do that to the card, you can do the same to their hands too. Tell them General Yuan Yuan told you so.

Your little orange kitty, General Yuan Yuan

At June 01, 2006 5:45 AM, Blogger Oreo said...

Oh no!! That's not good mail at all!

At June 01, 2006 6:09 AM, Blogger The Meezers said...

Uh oh, are you still tra-ma-tized?

At June 01, 2006 6:46 AM, Blogger William said...

George, I think bad mail like that should be banned. I got all excited once because my vet sent me a birthday card when I turned one--it was addressed to me and everything--but it was also really a reminder to get my mom to take me in for an annual exam.

At June 02, 2006 7:40 PM, Blogger Bonnie Underfoot said...

Poor George! My vet hasn't asked for urine... so far. She'd better not!
Poor Mom; after her first cat died an they took his "remains" to the vet, they still got the postcard for his next checkup. Umm... No.


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