Friday, August 24, 2007

This is Perfect!

GEORGE


My friends, the following which was sent to Mom by one of her friends,
illustrates what we cats
have known forever. We felines are clearly the
superior species.



DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre
little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt
for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going
is my dream of
escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again
vomit on the carpet.


Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what
this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.


Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the
other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.


The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...



18 Comments:

At August 24, 2007 8:46 AM, Blogger Starbuck and Torrey said...

Too funny! I laughed out loud... and it's true!!!

 
At August 24, 2007 9:47 AM, Blogger Daisy said...

I do not think dogs are very smart. Except Titus. And Dobby. And Poppy. They are my friends.

 
At August 24, 2007 10:18 AM, Blogger Henry Helton said...

Hey, some of those things are My favorite things. That is a very favorable schedule.

 
At August 24, 2007 10:23 AM, Blogger Maggy & Zoey said...

So Super-Dooper True! We of the meow and purrs are without question Suuuuuuuuuuperior!

 
At August 24, 2007 10:24 AM, Blogger Kellie The Orange Cat said...

This was so funny and so true! My Mum is having a hard time typing this for me as she is laughing so hard. "Get it together Mum, you have a job to do"

 
At August 24, 2007 11:50 AM, Blogger Yoggie said...

He he he!!! That was clever!

 
At August 24, 2007 12:33 PM, Blogger Caesar and Princess said...

You know... I could have written this thing. However, first a nap.

headbutts, Caesar

 
At August 24, 2007 1:11 PM, Anonymous Cheysuli said...

I've seen that.. wait maybe I wrote that?

 
At August 24, 2007 2:47 PM, Blogger Fab five said...

Well crew- what can you ex-pect of dawgz? Dey are not very Zen at all. But becauze of my orner-rary doctorate, I tink we will let dem be smarter than dey behave.

 
At August 24, 2007 4:29 PM, Blogger Gretchen said...

I'm glad I'm a cat!

Hugs...G

 
At August 24, 2007 7:07 PM, Blogger Lux said...

Are we sure Yao-Lin didn't write the cat diary entry?

 
At August 25, 2007 4:47 AM, Blogger Pearl C. Pritchard said...

Oh yes, yes yes. You are so right -- but you already know that. Those dogs are D-U-M-B

 
At August 25, 2007 1:00 PM, Blogger Marlene said...

Why do you think our dogs say:
"In my next life, I want to be a cat!"

Have a wonderful weekend and greetz from Holland :)

 
At August 25, 2007 2:08 PM, Blogger Zoey and the furballs (the Zoo Crew) said...

That's very funny (and true about the tripping on the stairs thing).

 
At August 25, 2007 8:39 PM, Blogger Boy said...

Of course, we are the supewior species aren't we?

 
At August 26, 2007 2:16 AM, Blogger Bad Kitty Cats & Megan said...

Oh this is too funny! hehehe... sending some happy purrs to you all! Have a great week ahead! And watch out for those D O G S....

 
At August 26, 2007 5:13 PM, Blogger Rosie & Cheeto said...

HAHAHA, this is grate...and supur accurate. Thanks fur summing up how we feel evaryday! HAHAHA

 
At August 26, 2007 10:25 PM, Blogger Diamond said...

I saw this before and laughed in my usual forthright meow manner.

Your question on wheatbags:For the crew and any others who don't know this information: a wheatbag is a small bag of fabric with wheat inside that you put in the microwave for a few minutes to heat up. It smells nice, like wheat. You can put it next to you to warm any parts you want to warm up. Lynettea often puts it on her shoulders for a while and then gives it to me when it isn't so hot. I don't like it too hot.
Diamond

 

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