The Astrology Report - Part I

GEORGE

A while back Samson & Delilah's Mom, Karen, told the CB that any cat could get their horoscope done for a limited time for free. Since our Mom is interested in astrology she thought that was a great idea and immediately sent in my birth information so she could see how well the horoscope matched my real self.

I must say at first I was a bit skeptical about this whole thing, but was pleasantly surprised when I got my in-depth report, since it describes me perfectly!! I was born at the shelter on July 10, 1997 which makes my sign "Cancer" and I want to share some of the highlights of my astrological report with you.

The first line starts out "George's strong....

TIPPER

Max and I didn't get a full report 'cause Mom doesn't know our "real" purrthdays. She knows how old we were when we were adopted, so she knows we were born in early May and we share Dad's purrthday with him on May 6. That makes us "Taurus" cats and here's a brief description of what Karen's site says about us.

Taurus loves his/her toys and little corner cat box you provide for him/her. The minute you try to change something, expect Taurus to retaliate with some bad habits. Don't try to throw that old beat up mouse away because Taurus will be very disappointed when it suddenly disappears from the spot he/she calls his/her own. Taurus can't be fooled - he/she knows where all his/her things are. A creature of comfort, Taurus prefers lounging on the divan to foraging for prey, anytime. Pretty and touchable, Taurus is the type that loves to be groomed and adorned with your praise. He/She is a bit lazy and self-indulgent. Taurus wants you to serve him/her food in a special way plus it has to be the best quality of cat food for him/her to be interested - just store bought won't do. Keep this cat trim by forcing him/her to exercise, otherwise Taurus will just get fatter and lazier with age. Start good habits young. It still doesn't guarantee you'll get Taurus motivated to move from his/her catnip nap - sometimes only food can motivate him/her. Taurus does well as a show cat where others can admire how beautiful he/she is.

GEORGE

(sigh) As I was saying, the first line reads "George's strong personality can be a little overwhelming at times." This is very true and I.....

MAX

WHAT?! Now, just a darn minute here!! "lazy", "fatter with age", "only food motivates" Our description says Tipper and I are FAT and that we do nothing but lay around?!

GEORGE

(tsk) If I might be allowed to continue?! It goes on to say "George is the boss and leader of your household. He needs a castle to rule over and even you will be subservient".

MISTY

Well Max, you know you do spend a lot of time laying on your top shelf. But let's see what my description says, OK? Mom doesn't know the exact date but I was born in early April, so I'm an "Aries" cat.

A fierce hunter by nature, Aries needs to chase prey for the conquest and the game of it all. The idea of hunting for food is negligible, although Aries will be first to demonstrate it's his/her prey only. Having a me first attitude in all he/she does makes it important that you feed him/her first. Keep this cat exercised with climbing poles and a large deck he/she can watch the birds from. Aries has been known to cover a large territory looking for prey. Active and aggressive, Aries must be allowed to forage on his/her own with free reign of the area even if it just includes your family room. Keep a handful of catnip mice that he/she can tear apart for treats

Oh yes, that's me alright. I like birdies and I love hunting mousies...'specially my feather-butt mousies!!

GEORGE

(ahem) Excuse me...I believe we were talking about MY report here!

(to be continued.....)