Friday, November 10, 2006

Learning to Be a House Lady


I'm seven months today!! YAY!! Since I'm almost grown up now, I decided maybe I should start learning how to be a House Lady. So I followed...


Wait a second. What's a House Lady?


They take care of a house.


Oh, you mean The Lady of the House.


That's what I said, isn't it? Anyway, I followed Mom around and this is what I learned. For the girls that want to be a House Lady, you have to learn to do ALL these things - IN ONE DAY - and you'll probably be really tired after. It's OK to take a nap like I did.

  • Changing the sheets. Usually Max helps with this, but he let me do it this time. Take the sheets off the big bed and carry them to the clothes cleaner machine. Then take clean sheets from the closet but before you lay them down and smooth them out, you jump around. It's good to jump on the pillows too.
  • Doing the laundry. Stinky clothes go in the washer machine and wet clothes come out. Then the wet clothes go in the dryer machine and go around. Before the wet clothes go in, you have to get inside to be sure it's empty, but don't stay in there or you'll go around too! When the clothes come out of the dryer machine, they're nice & warm and they don't smell stinky any more. Take each piece and fold it flat. Make a high stack that can be knocked over. Pick up the stacks, carry them into the bedroom and put everything on the cedar chest. When the stacks get really high, put some things in drawers.
  • Cleaning the bathroom. Put some blue stuff in the water and brush it around. Don't drink that's icky! Stand in the bathtub with the spray bottle and make it go skwidg, skwidg, skwidg. Then scrub the glass doors until the dirt is gone. If the scrubber thing accidently flies out of the tub, don't let it hit you 'cause it smells like the spray bottle. Take the scrubber thing and wash the sink. The paper towel you use to wipe the mirror is good to chase.
  • Dusting. Take the long hose and put a brush on the end of it, then go whoosh, whoosh on all the furniture. Make the dust go away, but if you see a spider in the corner, don't make it go away. It's OK to eat it.
  • Cleaning the floors. There's a lot of cat hair around, 'specially on the carpet where Max and I parts of things that I've torn up like papers and feather toys and things I find in wastebaskets. Take the long hose in all the rooms and make the mess go away. Then take the mop and wash the kitchen floor. A wet floor is good for sliding on and I can go all the way across the kitchen!
  • Going to the store. I wasn't allowed to go with, but I think this is where Mom gets things we need and then brings them home in bags. Bags are great to look never know what you'll find in there. After you look at everything then you help decide where to put things away. Make sure there's room for things and get in the cabinets to look around.
  • Taking a break. Sit on the couch and say "Oh, my back!" then put you feet on the table. This is the time to have a snack and look at a magazine. I took a small nap so I could be ready for the next work.
  • Clean the litterboxes. Scoop out all the stuff in the litterbox that's in the closet. Then put in new litter. Do the same thing with the litterbox in the basement. If the boxes smell really stinky, get a plastic bag and empty everything. Then wash the box. If you have to go, you have to wait until the box is on the floor again. It's OK to tell Mom to hurry up if you have to go really bad.
  • Paying bills. Take the papers from the box outside, then sit down and look at each one. Say "Why is everything so expensive!" and say some of the bad words. Decide to throw some papers out. These are the ones you're allowed to play with. Later get your purse and some papers and write with a pen. Every time Mom puts the pen down, knock it on the floor.
  • Cooking. This is for food that Mom & Dad eat. Our food doesn't need to be comes in a bag, except for when we have tuna water. It's not good to jump up on the stove top when Mom is standing by it 'cause it freaks her out and she hollers at you! When the food is on a plate though, you can help yourself to what you want.


At November 10, 2006 7:54 AM, Blogger The Meezers said...

good fing i'm a boy - that's too much werk for me - Miles

At November 10, 2006 8:56 AM, Blogger Kaze said...

Wow Misty that is a lot of work for a little kitten! I don't like to help with that stuff, especially since I'm not allowed in the Dungeon where the laundry machines live. I tried to go down there once and the Lap Lady freaked on me!

At November 10, 2006 9:43 AM, Blogger Gemini said...

OH it's a good thing Momma has someone come in, 'cause I could never do all of that. It's bad enough when she starts swearing 'cause the Almost Dad didn't tell her about the bills!

At November 10, 2006 11:07 AM, Blogger Kukka-Maria said...

Wow, Misty! Sounds like you've got a handle on things!

Are you the mastermind for the great new header? I love it!

At November 10, 2006 12:25 PM, Blogger Junior said...

I don't think I would want to be a house much work to do!

At November 10, 2006 1:55 PM, Blogger William said...

Misty, I'm just in awe with what you've learned. I think you need two days worth of naps after being so busy! I'm glad I don't have to worry about taking care of stuff like that.

Oh, but if I had a list? I'd have to add one that describes how to spot-clean the carpet for cat spots, then wait a little bit, and then Eddie will yak up on it again. Then you get to say, "Ed-die! I just cleaned that!" And maybe sometimes add, "Do you think I have nothing better to do that clean up after you? Why can't you do that in the kitchen?"

At November 10, 2006 2:02 PM, Blogger Victor Tabbycat said...

All that... efurry day? My mom just sleeps thru her alarm, takes a shower, snuggles me, gifs us treats, goes to werk fur many naps, comes home, does stuff I don't pay tension to, eats dinner (and shares), reads to the boy, gifs us MORE treats, an goes to bed. I don't pay tension to the rest of it, but it's good to check the clothes dryer machine. And soopervise cleanin the litterbox.

At November 10, 2006 2:03 PM, Blogger Bonnie Underfoot said...

Misty, Misty, Misty! Do you see Tipper doing all that werk efurry day? NO. That's why you haf staff. Count the legs. Staff haf two legs an opposed thumbs so they can do all that werk. We haf them so we don't haf to.

At November 10, 2006 2:42 PM, Blogger Fat Eric said...

Misty, don't work too hard. Like Bonnie said, that's what the humans are for! Eating and napping is far more important.

At November 10, 2006 4:39 PM, Blogger Eric and Flynn said...

That's way too much werk furr a kitty to do. Just do the fun things like making the bed an puffing up the pillows, an then yoo can nap on it.

At November 10, 2006 4:52 PM, Blogger Emma's Kat said...

Misty, I know all about house work! It's alot to get done, especially for a kitty. Btw, Love the new look of the blog!

At November 10, 2006 5:15 PM, Blogger Jake and Bathsheba said...

Like Bonnie and Eric said, work is for our Mom and Dad. They're here to serve US. We don't let them forget that.


At November 10, 2006 6:31 PM, Blogger caspersmom said...

Gosh Misty did you do all that? Guess Cleo doesn't want to be a house lady cause all she does is sleep unless she chases me around. Most of the time Mom is pretty nice when the bed needs changing, she waits until naps are done. But, sometimes she can be kind of rude and pulls the blanket when we are on it.


At November 10, 2006 7:05 PM, Blogger Derby said...

Mum's are way too busy. I thinks some of this should be placed behind playing with us kitties.

At November 10, 2006 10:11 PM, Blogger Max said...

Your Mom does WAY more than the Woman does...I think mine is either defective or just lazy.

At November 11, 2006 12:41 AM, Blogger Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

is yur momma an overacheiver? we're tired just readin' that.

At November 11, 2006 4:35 PM, Anonymous jack said...

Wow! That whole LOTS of work!! My OTW doesn't do half that. And she never does it all in one day, unless she feels like saying LOTS of bad words. And It's the Big One's job chase after the toy-sucker-upper machine. The OTW is even more scared of it that Grumpybutt and I are.

At November 12, 2006 8:11 AM, Blogger Millie said...

Wow Misty, your Mom must be superhuman or something. I got tired just reading about all that stuff.

At November 13, 2006 7:25 AM, Blogger Hot(M)BC said...

Happy 7monthiversary Misty! You's gonna be a sooper house lady if you kin do all that! I's gonna haf to keep your list and read it again to make sure my Mommy is doin all the house lady stuff she's sposed to. I fink she's got the bad words part down tho. hehehe
Sanjee, Boni, Mini, Pepi and Gree

At November 13, 2006 4:30 PM, Blogger Sarah and Tiggy said...

Wow, house Ladys have to do lots of stuff. I thought my mom was a house lady, but she's doesn't do all that stuff. What do you think Misty? Do yous still want to be a house lady?

At November 15, 2006 3:48 PM, Blogger Les Trois Chats said...

I wait to use the litterbox until just after it is scooped. My mom does all that other house lady stuff (especially the bad words when writing bills part) - but we have a Small Boy to do the scooping. He gets quite irritated that I stand by and wait to poo until he's got the boxes all perfectly scooped. I say, that's the exact right time to go!
~ moose

At November 16, 2006 3:02 PM, Blogger Catzee said...

Misty why does you wants ta be a house lady? That's what moms are fur.


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