To Phone or Not to Phone - That is the Question

GEORGE

While I was on Dad's lap watching television we saw a commercial for cell phones. He asked me if I wanted one and that got me to thinking...should I have my own phone? Do I really need one? Garfield has one, but then again, he's a media celebrity and I'm not.
So Dad & I talked it over and I'll list the pros and cons we came up with.

Pros

#1 - I'd be the ultimate in COOLNESS!!

#2 - I'd be easily accessible to my friends & fans

#3 - I could get a blue one to match my new collar and tags

#4 - All important people have one

#5 - I could make a call any time I felt like it and not have to wait until our family phone was available. Not that I ever make any calls, but that's beside the point. If I wanted to call someone, I could... and I could talk as long as I wanted to!

#6 - I would have a cool number like xxx.fon.gpie (you know, Georgie Pie!)

#7 - I would have a cool ring tone like Garfield's.


Cons

#1 - I have no where to carry it, which means I'd have to start wearing pants or a shirt and Dad already vetoed my suggestion about wearing fancy shirts like Skeezix. Hmmm...maybe I could ask Tipper if she'd mind carrying a purse to hold my phone.

#2 - I have no money of my own, which means I'd have to get a credit card and that would create another whole set of problems. How would I pay the bill? I might have to get a (gasp) job and I'm almost ready to retire!

#3 - I have big paws like my friend Kismet. Way too too big for the usual tiny key pads, so my phone would have to be very large and heavy! Tipper might need Mistys help carrying it.

#4 - I don't want to be bothered with nuisance sales calls day and night. I'm not interested in buying aluminum siding or magazine subscriptions, and I need my rest!!

#5 - I almost never leave the house except to go to the V.E.T. so I'm already easily accessible. I rarely go anywhere except when I sneak out into the garage.

#6 - Most people (except other cats) don't understand cat language, so I might have a little trouble making an operator assisted call if I ever needed to.

#7 - How could I protect my number and prevent the press & all the weirdos out there from getting it? Look what poor Kukka-Maria goes through...hounded constantly!

#8 - Of course, I would have to worry about identify theft. But that's easy to understand...who wouldn't want to be ME?

So, because the cons outnumber the pros, I've decided not to pursue this idea. If any of you can think of anything to add to the "pros" list, let me know and I'll reconsider.