The 2009 Birdie Census

GEORGE

Dad recently filled all the feeders in our yard and the birdies are returning from South, so I decided we should take an official census this spring.

Tipper, I'll count and you write this down. (ahem) Attention please...attention (taps paw on patio door glass)...if I could have everyone's cooperation, we can get this done quickly!!

Mr. & Mrs. Cardinal - Such a lovely couple. They've been living in our yard for years - 2 cardinals

Mr. Crow - So sorry to hear about your split from the Mrs. - 1 crow

Owl - Hmmm, I can't tell the gender from here - 1 owl - Just write fluffy of unknown gender, Tipp.

The Goldfinch family - Very good, nice to see you again. You're looking good in your spring feathers - 5 goldfinches

The Bluejays - I don't know if you've heard, but there's a peanut problem around here. If you decide to look for other acommodations, we'll understand - Put down 2 bluejays Tipp, but use a pencil.

The Mourning Dove sisters and their gentleman callers - Any wedding bells yet, girls? - 6 doves. Wait, maybe the guys won't be staying here. Better make that 3.

Tipp, are you getting all this?

TIPPER

Yes

GEORGE

(chikadee-dee-dee-dee chikadee-dee-dee-dee) Oh, the chickadees just arrived.

The Chickadee clan - Would everyone please stay together!! (Gosh, that group gets bigger each year. Dad, you'd better put up a few more houses! Looks like we'll have lots of chickadee eggs!) Uh...chickadees, how many are you this year? Are there many newcomers to the yard? Better put a question mark by the chickadees, Tipp.

The Strawberry Finches - Please stay separated from the gold finches. I need to get an accurate finch count and don't want the colors mixed - 6 red finches

The Sparrows - Sparrows! All sparrows, please stand on the deck so I can count you. Stop fluttering around!
(peeppeeppeep...peep) Everyone, please...no flying...I'm trying to count!! (flap, flap...flutter)

Uh...what are we up to now, Tipp?

TIPPER

I don't know. Misty & I were talking about what we should wear to the Dove weddings.

GEORGE

What?! Am I the only one who's taking this census seriously?

TIPPER

OK, let's see (looks over her papers)...I'm still waiting for the chickadee count. There's so much peeping & chirping & flapping going on out there I can't concentrate. They keep landing & taking off and the feeders are covered! They're standing on the railings and lined up along the gutters. The trees are full. Are we only counting the birdies in the back yard or are we counting in front too? If we do the front, I need more paper.

GEORGE

Uh...well, I guess we should count both. Alright, it's too crowded back here! Birdies, you stay here...everyone else, let's move on to the front yard. Misty, can you bring more paper?

The Robins - Nice to see you all survived the trip up north. (My, some of you put on some weight over the winter, didn't you! Must have found some good bugs somewhere) If everyone would gather in front of the big window, please. (chirpchirpchirpchirp) That means everyone! You 3 over there on the other side of the driveway... yes, YOU! Over here please - Um, looks like about 11 robins

The Purple Martins - Sorry Martins, your apartment house got some storm damage this winter. You might have to find other apartments if Dad can't fix it. I'll get back to you on that - Uh, no count on the Martins yet, Tipp. Just leave that blank.

The Ducks - Single males over here, females there. (quackquackquack) Married couples, if you'll be nesting by the pond this year, raise your wing. Uh oh...better hold off on that duck count for a minute, Tipp. We may have some romances here. (quackquackquackquack)

The Canadian Geese - Um...OK, all of you line up in the park and could everyone hold down the noise level, please! I can't hear myself think!! (honkhonkhonkhonk) Max, where's my calculator? Let's see...what's that formula again? Head x feet x wing span? (taps paws on keys) No, that's not right. No, no....no more landings right now...I'm still counting!! Just stay up there if you haven't been counted yet. If you've been counted, you can head over to the pond. (honkhonkhonk) Uh...Tipp, just put "many" for the geese.

OK...where was I? Geese...ducks, please don't cross the street. I can't be responsible for your safety! Chickadees, what are you doing in front...I told you to stay in back! What do you mean...the feeders are empty already?! Geese & ducks, please stay in the park...I want robins only in our yard right now. You young robins over there, don't stray into the neighbors yard. Their worms are no better than ours! Oh, there's another owl in the tallest pine. Tipp, change that owl count and remind me to tell Dad we need a bigger owl house.

MISTY

Oh, look at all the gooses in the park!!

GEORGE

Misty, please.. I'm working here and you're disturbing the birdies.

OK...Tipp where do we stand? Tipp? (looks around) Where's Tipper?

MAX

She went upstairs to take a nap. She said she couldn't stand the noise down here.

GEORGE

Good idea. This is taking longer than I thought and it's getting dark. We can finish later.