A Plant Lesson from Misty

MISTY

See this? It was Mom's last remaining live plant, but it's gone now.

I, and I alone, successfully killed it along with most of the other live plants she used to have.

You might be thinking, "But Misty, you're just one small cat. How did you do this all by yourself?" Well first of all, my older siblings who taught me the basics, but the main thing is determination and perseverance, my friends. You don't give up until you succeed!

Now I want to teach you all how to do this so you can try it in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Wait until your humans are out, since you need lots of time alone to learn this and develop your skill. Choose your plant carefully and don't start out with anything too big or you'll be overwhelmed and might give up.

Find a comfortable area where you can work, then select a leaf or stem and bite, bite, bite...chomp,chomp,chomp. Don't swallow these pieces. Carefully work your way around the entire plant in the same manner, but remember this will take some time, especially for beginners.

After you've advanced and mastered this first skill, you're ready to move on to paw & claw use. Instead of biting the plant, use your paws & claws to dig, dig, dig and pull it directly from the dirt. This works 'specially well with hanging plants. Just grab on and pull, hard! There will be quite a mess, but don't worry about it. It's not your problem. After your human screams, she or he will clean it up.

The final thing to learn is pot sitting or laying. This, along with paw & claw use, is guaranteed to kill the plant, but this technique should only be used in extreme cases where nothing else has worked. Remember, if you do this, you must allow time for a full body wash and nap afterwards. Kittens should note, this won't work for you since you don't have enough weight yet. Only large cats can do this well and although I'm at the Master Plant Killer level, I only weigh 8.5 lb. so even I have trouble with it! But here you can see George demonstrating the technique very well.

You may be tempted but don't, I repeat, DON'T EVER try any of what I've explained here while your human is watching you. Doing so may result in banishment to the basement, bathroom or somewhere else you don't want to be!

In conclusion, let me say, it took me close to 3 years to completely rid our house of live plants. It may take you more or less time, depending on how many plants you have to deal with, but don't give up. Remember...once you've mastered the skills, determine and perseverance are all you need.