Friday, March 12, 2010

A Plant Lesson from Misty

MISTY

See this? It was Mom's last remaining live plant, but it's gone now.

I, and I alone, successfully killed it along with most of the other live plants she used to have.

You might be thinking, "But Misty, you're just one small cat. How did you do this all by yourself?" Well first of all, my older siblings who taught me the basics, but the main thing is determination and perseverance, my friends. You don't give up until you succeed!

Now I want to teach you all how to do this so you can try it in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Wait until your humans are out, since you need lots of time alone to learn this and develop your skill. Choose your plant carefully and don't start out with anything too big or you'll be overwhelmed and might give up.

Find a comfortable area where you can work, then select a leaf or stem and bite, bite, bite...chomp,chomp,chomp. Don't swallow these pieces. Carefully work your way around the entire plant in the same manner, but remember this will take some time, especially for beginners.

After you've advanced and mastered this first skill, you're ready to move on to paw & claw use. Instead of biting the plant, use your paws & claws to dig, dig, dig and pull it directly from the dirt. This works 'specially well with hanging plants. Just grab on and pull, hard! There will be quite a mess, but don't worry about it. It's not your problem. After your human screams, she or he will clean it up.

The final thing to learn is pot sitting or laying. This, along with paw & claw use, is guaranteed to kill the plant, but this technique should only be used in extreme cases where nothing else has worked. Remember, if you do this, you must allow time for a full body wash and nap afterwards. Kittens should note, this won't work for you since you don't have enough weight yet. Only large cats can do this well and although I'm at the Master Plant Killer level, I only weigh 8.5 lb. so even I have trouble with it! But here you can see George demonstrating the technique very well.

You may be tempted but don't, I repeat, DON'T EVER try any of what I've explained here while your human is watching you. Doing so may result in banishment to the basement, bathroom or somewhere else you don't want to be!

In conclusion, let me say, it took me close to 3 years to completely rid our house of live plants. It may take you more or less time, depending on how many plants you have to deal with, but don't give up. Remember...once you've mastered the skills, determine and perseverance are all you need.

25 Comments:

At March 12, 2010 4:51 AM, Blogger Kea said...

Oh, bravo! Well done. You are an Advanced Plant-Killing Mistress!

Funny, but our human's number of plants has been steadily decreasing too....but really, it's because she neglects them. We don't have anything to do with it. Really.

 
At March 12, 2010 5:18 AM, Blogger The Island Cats said...

We have a lot of indoor plants too...thanks for the info on how to kill them...we're gonna get started on them right now!

 
At March 12, 2010 5:41 AM, Blogger The Paw Relations said...

What a fantastic lesson for a first time plant killer.

 
At March 12, 2010 5:49 AM, Blogger The Monkeys said...

Well done, Misty! We are very pleased with the tips we have learned today. We will start right away!

 
At March 12, 2010 6:20 AM, Blogger The Whiskeratti said...

What a pawsome lesson. Thank you so much! Sadly, our Mom doesn't have any plants but we'll know just what to do if she ever gets any.

 
At March 12, 2010 8:01 AM, Blogger Angel and Kirby said...

Those are very good lessons. WE don't have live plants to practice on cause Mom is allergic and she kills them herself!

 
At March 12, 2010 9:58 AM, Blogger AttieCattie said...

what an excellent, in-depth lesson! i love how you explained it all step-by-step, Misty, so that now i can try it myself and use your instructions to make sure i am doing it properly. you really should think about teaching classes.

 
At March 12, 2010 10:58 AM, OpenID chezcat1970 said...

Mama WAS going to get some plants, but she might not now!

 
At March 12, 2010 12:23 PM, Blogger The Kool~Kittie~Krew said...

You are an EXCELLENT teacher! Thanx for the plant killing tips! We don't have live plants in the house as mom knows we'll do that!

 
At March 12, 2010 1:47 PM, Blogger Ayla and Iza, said...

You are a Master Plant Killer! We would try, but all our plants are in cages or hanging up high...

 
At March 12, 2010 2:06 PM, Blogger Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Ooo, I'm impressed! My girl is an expert plant killer...but in our house da plants even seem to survive da pulling right outta da pots! Dey also taste purrty icky so biting is not one of our favorite things.~Speedy

 
At March 12, 2010 2:38 PM, Blogger Sweet Praline said...

Mom says that's why we have silk plants.

 
At March 12, 2010 3:23 PM, Blogger Cheysuli and gemini said...

Good for you. That was a handy little primer. Now I am off to wait until the Woman leaves the plants alone...

 
At March 12, 2010 5:24 PM, Blogger Eric and Flynn said...

Those are very good tips but our mum mostly has cactus indoors.When she first got them she came home to see me with lots of littles spines in my nose. It attacked me and I only wanted to sniff it before I nommed it. I keep well away from those evil attack plants.

 
At March 12, 2010 5:40 PM, OpenID catsintrees said...

We have so much to learn still. We will get on it right after we convinced Photoguy to get some plants in the house.

 
At March 12, 2010 6:39 PM, Blogger TK said...

Excellent technique manual Misty! Our mommy only has 1 plant left and it is up very high so we can get it. But if we gets a chance we tries your instrushuns!
TK

 
At March 12, 2010 7:46 PM, Blogger Derby, Ducky said...

Excellent Misty, couldn't have done it better myself. Mum only has one plant now and when it is in the house, the door to that room is closed.

Also, let George know that mum did indeed video me doing my business, she just edited it so it wasn't in the part that we posted.

Derby

 
At March 12, 2010 11:03 PM, Blogger Jack and Persephone said...

I can kill house plants?!? We has a House Plant! I didn't know they were prey! Tastes like toys! Though the Mean Snuggly Lady-who-won't-let-me-defeat-the-Big-Kitties told me to stay out of it!

I will kill the House Plant! I must protect my brand new home! And then can we PLAY, New Friend Misty?

~Tenzing!

 
At March 13, 2010 9:57 AM, Blogger Jan's Funny Farm said...

You're subtle. Our Percy just pulled the aloe vera plant out of the pot to die -- not once but as many times as it took to kill it. Jan gave up on trying to grow anything.

 
At March 13, 2010 2:49 PM, Blogger Shaggy, Scooby and Scout said...

Excellent technique!
I have one I'm rather fond of here too.
We think the only green plant in the house should be a catnip plant.
-Shaggy

 
At March 13, 2010 4:11 PM, Blogger Christine and FAZ said...

I like to kill plants too, especially after I have dug out all the soil and spread it across the floor.

Thank you for all your kind wishes recently when I wasn't feeling well, everyone's healing purrs obviously helped to get me better.

FAZ

 
At March 14, 2010 11:00 AM, Blogger Fin said...

This is so impressive Misty! Unfortunately Mom kills all the plants before I even get the chance!

 
At March 14, 2010 7:44 PM, Blogger Sónia Mendes said...

Hi guys,

I have an award for you in my blog come see it...

Purrs from Gotchi

 
At March 16, 2010 12:31 PM, Blogger The Furry Kids said...

Thanks for the lesson! it was very, very inspiring! heh heh

EG

 
At April 04, 2010 1:25 PM, Blogger The Furry Bambinos said...

Hmmm, good to know! Mom is talking about "starting seeds" indoors this year. We'll be ready, thanks to your post!

Padre, Panda Bear, Meerkat, Cookie, and Caramel

P.S. Mohawk, one of the kittehs who came before, once ate a California redwood tree seedling. Heh!

 

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