I've been thinking about retirement for a while and since I turned 13 in July, I've decided to retire and let my siblings take over running our household. I taught them everything they need to know so I think, between the 3 of them, things will be in good paws. Naturally, I will retain my Senior Cat status, but the day-to-day problems will be handled by them. Of course, if they run into a serious problem, I'll be available and can be found on the big bed, napping under the quilt.
"But George, what will you do all day once you're retired", you may be thinking. Well, more work on my art projects, bird watching and napping, that's for sure. But the main thing is, I've decided to become a Cat Consultant. All the high powered politicians and executives go into consulting when they retire from their prestige jobs and I hear there's lots of green papers to be had! And maybe I could travel some with Dad and help him.
To further this important career move, I decided I should have some fancy business cards to hand out to anyone who may want to make use of my services. So...without further ado, I present "My Card".
All consultations must be booked in advance and my fees will be very reasonable. I'll charge by the quarter hour, payable as follows:
15 minutes - 3 treats
30 minutes - 5 treats
45 minutes - 8 treats
60 minutes - 10 treats
If you need an appointment longer than 60 minutes, plan to bring 1 oz. of primo 'nip (no stale stuff, please!) or 1 oz. of tuna water, along with the treats, and understand I may need to take a quick nap to refresh myself. Of course, my nap will also be charged to you.